The Right Kind of Motivation

I have a confession to make.  I'm sure some of you will be disappointed in me, while others will be irritated, and still some others will probably say to yourselves, "See, knew she wouldn't make it."  Think what you will, I have to live with myself not you!  The confession is that (no I didn't have liposuction this weekend!  I wish!) I gorged myself on about a gagillion-katrillion calories this weekend.  I know, I know... after posting all those before and after pictures and feeling so great I went and did this right!  Self-sabotage... actually not really.  Let me explain!

First of all let me remind you that I have been having problems hitting my calorie count each day which means that my metabolism is probably slowing down in its rebellious teenage fashion.  Therefore having a meal once a week that sends me over won't kill me because I am in a way psyching out my body to think that it can start burning more calories.  This allows me a "cheat meal" once a week.  Friday night was my "cheat night" and I had Los Cucos... my FAVORITE mexican food restaurant.   I had chips and salsa, water, and 3/4 of a cheese enchilada dinner.  This is a positive because normally I would have finished the dish and had tres leches for desert.  I then went and saw Mirror Mirror with my hubby (which I totally recommend by the way) and we ended up going out to a dance hall.  This is where things start going downhill.

For those of you who do not know me... I'm not really a big drinker.  As a matter of fact I did not actually drink enough to become intoxicated until I was 24 years old.  Its never been something that is important to me nor a form of entertainment so when I do drink I usually have just enough so that things get really funny and I quit.  Well I haven't had anything to drink since Halloween so when we went out Friday night I wanted to test the waters... unfortunately (and I do mean this) I skipped the beach and jumped right into the middle of the gulf without a life vest!  Honestly, why anyone would want to feel that way is beyond me!  I will not get into the gory details just bear in mind I was carried to the car (my husband drove) and crawled up to my second floor apartment, and yes, I remember EVERYTHING!  Needless to say I will NEVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER do that again!  EVER... NEVER.  So just guestimating I'm pretty sure that was like 10,000 calories in alcohol.

This of course means that Saturday night when I was weak in my recovery and I met my family at Ryan's for dinner before the rodeo I said, "Forget all this good girl stuff!  I am tired and worn out and I want lots and lots of carbs!"  Apparently the part of my brain that slaps me silly when I think of mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, fried okra, and yeast rolls was not in working order so I went to town... OMG was it good... and OMG was I so sick when I finished!  I suppose my stomach has done some shrinking over the past month because what I would normally eat without a problem made me feel about 15 months pregnant.  Luckily between the horrible feeling of being that stuffed and my accountability partner Jaren being present I managed to walk around the carnival without having anything to eat!  Thank goodness because I'm pretty sure my stomach would have literally ripped open right then and there.

Sunday... a day to start over and be a good girl!  The good angel should have been stronger by then, especially with the worry that Jaren would literally kill me in my sleep if I went off the count, but alas... I wanted a hamburger... and my wonderful husband brought me home the most wonderful, magnificent, bestest hamburger in the whole wide world... not to mention the most perfect fries.  (I can seriously feel the deathly vibes coming from Jaren right now... *ducks head in shame* Oh and Jaren... You are not allowed to beat up my husband for delivering the goods!)  It doesn't end there though because when I went to my in-laws it was decided in a two person vote... one of the votes being mine... that we would have pizza for dinner.  On a positive note I chose to have one slice of cheese pizza with a salad... unfortunately I let my salad be fluff for ranch dressing.

So there it is... My weekend confession!  I was weak, I gave in to my "right now" wants instead of holding out for my future goals.  The good thing is... I'm already back on track.  I had my low calorie breakfast, I have my new water bottle sitting right next to me and I'm striving to get my daily hydration quota and I've got a work-out date with Jaren tonight!  Its been decided that I would start over my P90X week this week since I didn't do so great last week... which is fine with me because I still like working out!  My mid-point weigh in is this week so I'm hoping my weekend gorge-fest isn't going to interfere with that on Wednesday, but like I tell my kids in group.  We all make choices.  Some are healthy and some are un-healthy but they all have consequences.  When we make healthy choices we have healthy consequences when we make un-healthy choices our consequences follow.  I'm willing to own up to my choices and suffer the consequences.

Now... where does the title of today's blog play into all of this you are wondering?  Well, I've been thinking a lot about all of the different personalities that surround me on a daily basis.  Not just my own but those of my family and friends.  Most of us are working toward our own weight loss goals and are getting motivation from all around us, but is it the right motivation for us, as unique individuals?

For example... a few years ago I paid several hundred dollars to start a weight loss program that was pretty stringent.  Yeah you could eat whatever you wanted... sort of... but it was very, very strict.  I made it two weeks and lost 7lbs but then something happened that caused me to quit.  You see I used to work for Child Protective Services in Dallas and every year the units get a Fair Day where we got the day off to hang out at the Texas State Fair.  The only problem is that I was a week and a half into my diet at this point and it was raining that day... This mean that we literally spent four hours straight sitting in the food court at the fair.  FOUR HOURS of smelling funnel cakes, french fries, fried butter, sausage on a stick, nachos etc., etc.  Did I cheat?  NO!  I brought grapes and cantaloupe in containers and drank water while I was there, and for someone who doesn't like fruit, I was pretty darn proud of myself.  The problem is that when I got home that night I was out of things to eat and I wanted something sweet like no ones business so I made the choice to have a Swiss Cake Roll.  Just one mind you not the whole package.  Well when I went for my check-in at the diet place the little girl all but had a heart attack when I told her about the Swiss Cake Roll and went on and on about how I needed to do a water flush and how I couldn't do that if I wanted to succeed.  FAIL!  I was so ticked off!  I had busted my butt for two weeks eating fruit daily, when I can't stand it, and forgoing every other temptation at home, not to mention the fair, and she was going to rip me a new for a SWISS CAKE ROLL.  I didn't go back.  Why? NOT THE WAY TO MOTIVATE ME.

This process is hard for me.  It is something I have to really focus on to get it right and I'm proud of myself for the minor things I get right because where it might seem like second nature to you its a battle for me!  So this made me think of all of you out there kicking butt as well and all of the things we have to work hard at, sometimes being the only one you know going through it, and how we need to hear the motivation that really gets us going.  How do we know what that is?  Well I have a couple of theories.  I truly think that we should know what type of personality and communication style we have so we better understand what we need from those around us and to also take the time find out the same about our accountability partners so that we can also motivate them in the right ways.

There are some fun and easy ways to figure out this information!  Have you ever done the Shape Personality test?  I know a lot of you have, and if so you are ahead of the game!  If not I'm going to include a link!  Before you click on the link though you have to pick a shape... don't ask me why just pick one of the following shapes ~

Square --- Rectangle --- Triangle --- Circle --- Squiggle

Once you have chosen the shape click on the link below and read about the shape you picked.  Does it describe you?  I'm a Square with Circle as a back-up.  Don't forget no one is only one shape!  You will have a primary and a secondary :)

http://www.etals.com/pershape.html

This second thing I think is really important is figuring out what your communication style is!  If you know what type of personality you have and how you communicate than you should know what type of motivation works for you!  I did an activity in a training recently that I thought I would share with you!  I used it to identify my WORK communication style but we will use it to figure out our at HOME style because weight loss and working out occurs outside of the office!  So below is a quick activity to use when trying to figure out your style :)

Once have circled all of the words that describe you at HOME then draw a line horizontally across the paper under the words Careful, Thorough, Assertive, and Persistent.  Draw a vertical line, from top to bottom, between the words Diplomatic and Pushy.  Count up how many words you have in each square.  Once done, circle the number 1,2,3,4 that has the most selected words and read the communication style that correlates with your number. 

Did the square you ended up with describe your communication style?  I know mine did!  I am an AMIABLE closely followed by a DRIVER.  How do your personality and your communication style work together in your life?  Once you have nailed down these two things you should be able to understand a little bit more what type of motivation and support works for you!  Do you need someone to push you?  Do you need someone to celebrate the little victories and support you through your failures with a gentle hand?  What works best for you based on wheat you now know?

The trick is getting your accountability partner and your support group to understand what you need to hear!  If you are extra sensitive and you probably don't need someone yelling at you like a drill-sergeant.  If you are a super leader who doesn't spend a lot of energy on emotions then you might want someone kicking your butt all the way down the field!!  We are all unique and all need different things to get us going!  Take some time and figure out what you need from those around you then have a pow-wow and figure out how you can be best supportive of your work out buddies!  Having the right form of motivation coming your way can make or break your willpower!  We can only be strong on our own to a point so make sure when you need that extra boost it comes in the form you need it too!  

You may think this is silly and doesn't have anything to do with a Ginger's Battle of the Bulge but honestly it has A LOT to do with it!  I'm having to really identify these parts of me so that I can express to my support team what I need when I ask for their help!  Luckily I have a whole array of supporters so I know who to go to if I need some Get your hiney up off that couch and sweat it off before I kick it support (Jaren) or if I need some good ole' fashion I love you the way you are and you can do this support (Kennith) maybe some I know you can do anything you put your mind to support (Mom) and some Wow you are doing so awesome and look great support (Greenmyers).  I am a very blessed and supported girl :)

Okay, I'll shut my ginger trap and let you guys get back to it!  I hope you have fun with the activities!  I'm the biggest dork and love doing this kind of thing so I thought I would share!  Plus its fun to do them with family and friends and have those "See!  I always knew you were a square!" moments :)

Remember - if you need to some extra support, have questions, or just need a place to vent I'm at 

Texas_Ginger23@yahoo.com 

Have a great Monday guys!